If God is good, why is there suffering?
Raise your hand if you have ever said..."GOD WHY ME, WHY THIS?"
*all limbs of mine are in the air*
Friday I had my BIG doctor's appointment.
They went over the 1223 blood tests they ran. (Just kidding there was only like 50)
They brought in all the doctors. They checked my...you know what. I sat there on that crunchy paper like a spectacle in my gown open on the front for all these professionals to poke at, and they did. Then they read my now HUGE file folder that will follow me everywhere I go. (Hey teachers, I call it my RTI tier 3 packet) Then they went over EVERYTHING. This took 2 hours, no joke.
1 in 1,000 women get premature ovarian failure between ages of 20-29. That means I am ACTUALLY .1%. I gotta go buy a lottery ticket or something because clearly the odds are EVER in my FAVOR. In that .1% of women pof is almost always caused by either autoimmune diseases, toxins, chromosomal defects, hereditary, ovarian surgeries, and chemo radiation. I even asked if they had other people that see them that have POF and they said I was the first under 40...
Mine was deemed IDIOPATHIC. I want to run around saying that word in all my sentences just to sound smarter. "His reasoning for not completing his homework was idiopathic." "Chris's fishing pole was idiopathic." "The dog's fleas are idiopathic." "The mess of cookie butter all over the counter is idiopathic."
"Allison we have spent months testing everything and had all the doctors look at your numbers, exams, blood, and history and unfortunately we don't have any reasoning behind your ovaries failing. It is idiopathic." They then proceeded to tell me how I am one of the most healthy people they have had and my blood work and exams show it everywhere but my ovaries are equivalent to someone PAST menopause in their 60s....The weirdest thing happened when they said all that. Seriously KID YOU NOT....
I SMILED THE BIGGEST SMILE.
One of the doctors asked me, "why are you smiling?" (They probably thought I was going crazy)
I couldn't wipe it off my face. It was such a rush of pure bliss, peace, and nirvana that I have NEVER experienced in my entire life.
I replied back with, "Because its not idiopathic, God did it."
YA'LL. You could have heard a pen drop.
Tears welled in one of their eyes. Since it was quiet I decided to keep talking, go figure right? As I told just pieces of my story I could see that these doctors who researched and tested all these scientific things were stumped.
No one spoke. They had no answers for me.
GOD was the answer. But if God is so good why is there suffering? Why am I going through something so catastrophic?
People hit ROCK BOTTOM, to discover the rock is HE. God Almighty. Your pain has a purpose. For those who believe in God, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not believe in God, no explanation is possible.
*all limbs of mine are in the air*
Friday I had my BIG doctor's appointment.
They went over the 1223 blood tests they ran. (Just kidding there was only like 50)
They brought in all the doctors. They checked my...you know what. I sat there on that crunchy paper like a spectacle in my gown open on the front for all these professionals to poke at, and they did. Then they read my now HUGE file folder that will follow me everywhere I go. (Hey teachers, I call it my RTI tier 3 packet) Then they went over EVERYTHING. This took 2 hours, no joke.
1 in 1,000 women get premature ovarian failure between ages of 20-29. That means I am ACTUALLY .1%. I gotta go buy a lottery ticket or something because clearly the odds are EVER in my FAVOR. In that .1% of women pof is almost always caused by either autoimmune diseases, toxins, chromosomal defects, hereditary, ovarian surgeries, and chemo radiation. I even asked if they had other people that see them that have POF and they said I was the first under 40...
Mine was deemed IDIOPATHIC. I want to run around saying that word in all my sentences just to sound smarter. "His reasoning for not completing his homework was idiopathic." "Chris's fishing pole was idiopathic." "The dog's fleas are idiopathic." "The mess of cookie butter all over the counter is idiopathic."
"Allison we have spent months testing everything and had all the doctors look at your numbers, exams, blood, and history and unfortunately we don't have any reasoning behind your ovaries failing. It is idiopathic." They then proceeded to tell me how I am one of the most healthy people they have had and my blood work and exams show it everywhere but my ovaries are equivalent to someone PAST menopause in their 60s....The weirdest thing happened when they said all that. Seriously KID YOU NOT....
I SMILED THE BIGGEST SMILE.
One of the doctors asked me, "why are you smiling?" (They probably thought I was going crazy)
I couldn't wipe it off my face. It was such a rush of pure bliss, peace, and nirvana that I have NEVER experienced in my entire life.
I replied back with, "Because its not idiopathic, God did it."
YA'LL. You could have heard a pen drop.
Tears welled in one of their eyes. Since it was quiet I decided to keep talking, go figure right? As I told just pieces of my story I could see that these doctors who researched and tested all these scientific things were stumped.
No one spoke. They had no answers for me.
GOD was the answer. But if God is so good why is there suffering? Why am I going through something so catastrophic?
People hit ROCK BOTTOM, to discover the rock is HE. God Almighty. Your pain has a purpose. For those who believe in God, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not believe in God, no explanation is possible.
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