Menopause at 26

Today was the day...that I saw the Reproductive specialist who specializes in ALL things women's reproductive system. The typical salary for these doctors are anywhere from $270,000-$366,000. They have to go to college to pursue a pre-med degree, then get into medical school.  After medical school they must get into a residency that specializes in their field.(reproductive systems)  Once they have completed this residency over the course of several years then they must pass a national medical board examination. They aren't done quite yet.   Finally they must complete a two- to three-year fellowship in infertility treatment, followed by two years of clinical experience. Oral and written examinations must also be passed. This is all in addition to a four-year obstetrics and gynecology residency. "They SPECIAL" And I saw the BEST OF THE BEST. Just to hear...that I still had POF(Or I hear it is POI now) They tested for all autoimmune diseases-NEGATIVE They tes

Becoming a vegan was the worst thing ever... ...For my hormonal acne... It's GONE. This is no joke whatsoever. On March 6th I started eating a vegan diet. March 6th I had pimples all over my back and shoulder and my chin and jawline. When I say pimples, I may as well call it the Grand Canyon National Park. I was mortified when I started breaking out six months ago and tried anything to rid of it-YOU NAME IT. My skin is more clear now then it was when I was a kid. ...For my Dryness... Yes, that kind of dryness ladies. It comes along with menopause and is no fun. Funny how connected your body is to the things we eat. This one I noticed within days! The hormones they put in the dairy products and meats were truly making me so unbalanced in ways I never noticed day to day and thought was just my new "normal". ...For my extra pounds... UH DUH! I lost 5 lbs in the first two weeks and I ate more then I had in months. I was constantly eating snacks and chomping away all

My mom is a felon. This isn't something you know when you see me, or even when you get to know me. But its something that effects my day to day life. When it was my last day of fourth grade my mom dropped me off at school like any other normal day. My dad (THANK GOD FOR HIM) picked me up, which perplexed me because I don't remember it being his weekend to get me. It was his weekend for the rest of my life. My mom went away that day for years; 4 to be exact. My life altered in ways that one honestly can't imagine. She missed things that moms are supposed to be there for. Milestones that girls hit from 4th grade till 9th. If it wasn't for my dad's true heroic behavior I wouldn't be half the person I am today. HE was the one who got me my first pads, and books to go along with it to make up for his lack of womanly knowledge. HE was the one who met my first love, and walked my down the aisle for my last one. HE was the one who watched me fail at gymnastics, try

When Dad said to write a letter to the family explaining what the last year had dealt us I thought to myself....It's Spring Break and I'm trying to get my tan on...nobody really wants a sappy letter about my womanly parts. What occurred next was mere magic.  Parents know best ya'll. Dear Family and friends, We are writing to share with our loved ones what this past year has brought to our family.   In March of 2016 we decided we wanted to start a family. In June we found out we were expecting.    The pure joy and excitement that came into our lives was great! A couple of doctors’ visits later the unthinkable happened, we no longer had a viable pregnancy.    September 15th I went in for a D&C at 11 weeks to complete the miscarriage. Though it was a troubling time we were reassured by the doctors that this was common. In fact they did blood work, checkups, and the whole work up and said we were good to go to start trying again in November! So we did...and the

That's what I feel like. A freak of nature. Just found out the 74,017 girl I know is pregnant.  I mean I am talking people who aren't even trying, some who I didn't even know had a man. Life is beautiful no matter who is carrying it don't get me wrong but I can't help feel like a FREAK OF NATURE. My heart sank and tears welled in my eyes when I learned another friend was pregnant.  I PUSHED forth a happy "Awww OMGEE!" when my husband told me but I could see it even pained him to see me find out.  (He's known for a couple weeks and anticipated this) Number 74,017.  Meanwhile I am a FREAK.OF.NATURE. This could go two ways.... Route 1: Ask ten million questions that soon turn to disgust and anguish and ANGER.  Then go cry alone in the bathroom and carry on the rest of the day heavy hearted. Route 2: Embrace my "freak of nature" rareness.  Make myself feel special and rare like clearly I was. ROUTE 2 Aurora - a luminous phenomenon t

poign·ant (poin′yənt)   adjective     Arousing deep emotion, especially pity or sorrow; touching This word is what I didn't want to face.  This word is what I wanted to push away.  This word is what I smiled big to hide. This word is what suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks.   Sobbing, sadness, despair, depression, and any other words in that sad context can't quite explain the feeling I got when I looked at my husband and realized what he signed up for unbeknownst to him 7 and a half years ago when he let me borrow that pencil in our math study group. I floated in the bathtub not knowing what was soaking my skin: my tears or the water that filled it.   Floating in my own poignancy. The thoughts that ran through my head pierced my heart and took over my whole body. To date in my 26 years of life that was the longest bath I have ever taken.  Knowing that all the while my life had STOPPED right there and everyone elses' kept going.  My husband was

"And I will be to her a wall of fire all around, declares the LORD, and I will be the glory in her midst." Zechariah 2:5 Everything changed for me that day.  That doesn't mean I am not sad about the side of the stick I got.  It just means I am wiping that stinky end off, sprinkling it with glitter, grabbing some toilet paper for the person who clearly needed it and making it the BETTER end of the stick.  The quote doesn't say.  Life is easy! Enjoy! ..NO. It says, "Life was never meant to be easy, it's meant to be lived.  Sometimes happy, other times rough...but with every up and down you learn lessons that will make you STRONG." My strength comes from GOD.  Christ alone, cornerstone.  There are so many times I should have looked to Him but instead went to my flesh, which ironically failed me.  POF is not be any means a death sentence. I still have the same life expectancy as everyone else.  I'm an over achiever too so I am shooting for 100.  B

POF When you google just that the dating website "plenty of fish" comes up.  Let me tell ya'll that is scarier then the kind of POF I have.  (In my opinion) Premature Ovarian Failure. Premature ovarian failure is defined as the cessation of menstrual periods before the age of 40. It occurs in 1 in 1,000 women between the ages of 15 and 29 and 1 in 100 women between the ages of 30 and 39. The average age of onset is 27 years. Daddy always said I've been an over achiever.  Beat that 27 years by 1 year...26! The next results showed my FSH to be in the 165 and my LH to be 112.  Not to mention my estrogen was only 7.7.  This meant the hard truth.  It was me.  My ovaries failed. POF. At first I was scared.  Scared of what that meant for my chances of being a mother, seeing as how I now only have a 5% of ever conceiving naturally.  Scared that I would be battling dementia, osteoporosis, diabetes, and tons of other illness at a much younger age.  Scared that I wo

This title is not me being dramatic at all. I had the saddest week of my life the week of March 1st.  It was the week of someone realizing they are 1% of a population, and not the good kind of 1% like the 1% that will forever eat whatever they want and have the body I work out at Orangetheory to strive for.  And not the 1% of people whom have so much money and did nothing to get it...can I be a Kardashian yet? (Much love for them though...Season 13 where ya at?!) More like the 1% of people who's body rejects prosthesis(fake bones) and goes completely deaf in their left ear...*raises hand* More like the 1% of people whom get the side effect of horrible excruciating bathroom (number 2 ya'll) pain and "cleansing" after taking antibiotics for a cold...*raises hand* I should have none, I have always been that lonely 1% of people that get the poop end of the stick...no pun intended...actually that was totally intended.  I also am the part of the 1% of women that like t